Hi Everyone, how have you been? 🤗
Each time I sit down to write a newsletter, I am always amazed at how quickly time has flown by. It seemed not too long ago that 2023 started, and now we are almost striding into the last quarter of 2023.😅
For me, the past few months were extremely chaotic. It felt almost like an upheaval of life I once known, to embark on a new chapter of my life – starting with a new space I now call home and sharing it with a Korean Jindo mix rescue dog named “Woobin”.
If you asked me during pre-Covid days how I would have envisaged my future self to be, I would never have imagined that I would be right here right now. It was simply too unimaginable for me to take a brave & bold step out to embark on independent living, and to even care for another being, without fear.
For most of my life, I have always been highly analytical – driven by an extremely logical mind that was very fact & evidence based. As a result, I was often very risk averse, afraid of venturing out of my comfort zone & established routines. I have always been lucky in that my parents provided for me abundantly. Even till today, I could always depend on them to provide me with food, water, shelter, basic necessities and more, if I need.
I never realised how deeply blessed I was, until I started managing my own life from scratch.
With independent living, I am now fully accountable for my own life. Besides the freedom of doing whatever I want in my own space, I now have to manage all the nitty gritty details that I could conveniently escape from in the past. Such as doing my own household chores – sweeping, mopping, cooking, cleaning the pee and poop of Woobin, doing morning & evening walks with Woobin, hanging the clothes out to dry and collecting them back, wiping things here & there, grocery shopping, and the list goes on. I didn’t even realise how time-consuming all these household chores could be, until I started doing them.
With Woobin’s presence in my life, I finally had a taste of how being a parent or caregiver feels like. As Woobin had undergone so much past trauma prior to meeting me (having been caught as a stray and scheduled for euthanasia, and having waited for a long period for an adopter), Woobin is highly skittish & fearful of many things, including humans, touch, loud noises, vehicles and thunderstorms. I didn’t realise the magnitude of his fears until I started interacting with him and trying to integrate him into my life. At times, he really tested the limits of my patience and love. And I wondered: How can we love & care for another being (and continue to do so daily) from the depths of our soul, even when they don’t reciprocate, or show deep suspicion or resistance? Over time, I realise that it requires me to locate a deeper, unconditional love & patience from within – almost Goddess-like energies, which flows without my usual attachments & expectations, and radiates out infinitely no matter what. To access these Goddess-like energies within, I realise how important it is to be in a good space myself – to feel balanced physically, emotionally & mentally.
Whenever I feel “off” balance these days, I ensure that I allocate time to love, nourish & care for myself first. It might mean taking a few hours off (while ensuring that Woobin is in a safe space) to participate in activities that help me to regain my balance. Such as my full body massages, interactions with parents & loved ones, going out alone, meditation and journalling. Everyone’s needs are different – honour what you need at that moment. In this process, I also learned the hard way that caretaker’s fatigue is real – it is not an easy feat to continuously care for another being (or person) all the time. If we don’t prioritise ourselves first, we could easily find ourselves slipping into depression, hopelessness, physical or mental exhaustion. And nobody truly benefits as a result – ourselves, our family & loved ones, and all those whom we care for. Nobody deserves to see & receive the worst side of ourselves, including ourselves, isn’t it?
With these experiences, I come to realise & appreciate the untold sacrifices of my parents all these years. It must have been incredibly challenging to raise us up to who we are today – since each of us came to earth naked, helpless, lost & confused. Last week, a friend cum colleague told me, it is actually easier to care for a puppy/dog than a human, since a puppy/dog could at least walk on their own and grow much faster. Her words really set me thinking, especially as I was having a difficult time trying to gain Woobin’s trust. At that moment, I realised that my struggles with Woobin (while valid and real) truly pale in comparison to what my parents (and most parents) have undergone when raising their own family. It seeded in me a newfound respect for my parents for what they have been through, and a gentle acceptance of their past actions (no matter how hurtful it was to me) as their level best back then. As we are ultimately souls in human bodies trying to learn & grow with each lifetime, nobody is truly perfect, and mistakes are our means of growth. How can we hold others to exacting standards & ideals that we can’t even embody within us all the time?
And so, these thoughts have been bubbling in my mind for the past few months. I am grateful to have the chance to make sense of them & to share with you today.
As I continue to experience my life, I look forward to sharing more realisations with you. 🌟
Many Blessings,
Asha & Akashic Masters
If you enjoy these stories of my realisations in the Akashic Records, you can tune in to my other stories on YouTube & Podcast (links below). 🧡
If you would like to receive timely updates of my latest offerings, you can follow me on IG @asha_akashicrecords (link below). I will be restarting my free group monthly meditations in the Akashic Records this month, so it’s a great chance to attend it live & experience the energies. More updates soon! 🤗