For the longest time, I wasn’t ready to share on my own journey towards spiritual awakening.
In particular, what was the trigger that forced me to re-examine my life, shift out of my comfort zone, and embark on all these so-called “non-mainstream” modalities that are central to my life today?
If I could trace back to when it all began, I think my journey started sometime in 2016.
Prior to that, I was by no means “spiritual”. Perhaps my only link to spirituality was the fact that I believed in, and prayed to, an Ascended Master, several times a year at a temple. Even so, our connection felt rather distant, as I never really connected with her except in times of desperation. Nonetheless, she always occupies a special space in my heart, having “adopted” me when I was a sick child who was frequently down with high fever. To me, she feels like my distant mother from a higher dimension: quietly watching me from afar, listening to my prayers, and stepping in to guide me each time I asked for help. And each time she extended her help to me, she never asked me for anything in return. Through her actions, she showed me what unconditional love & compassion truly mean. That it doesn’t have to be pompous & attention-seeking; rather, it can be silently conveyed through gentle nudges of the heart to lead me to where I am meant to go & grow.
Back then, I had already shifted into a better employment as an in-house legal counsel of a public agency.
To me, the workplace & its dynamics (imperfect as they were) felt like heaven to me, in contrast to the gates of hell that I escaped from. There is nothing much to complain about: the working hours are regular, workload is manageable, salary is acceptable, and most importantly, we are given the trust & autonomy to handle all legal matters sent to us. Moreover, my original agency had underwent a corporate restructuring, and my friend and I remained in the first agency, whereas our boss (who was a stickler for writing defensive & convoluted legal advice) was posted to the second agency. We were like freedom-loving fishes in a new pond: exploring our unique forms of expression, managing work challenges independently, and living the life that we desire.
With better working hours, I was able to devote more time to strengthen my physical body. At that time, I was very much committed to a rigorous fitness routine, which consisted of back-to-back kickboxing & HIIT classes 3 times a week, strength training 1-2 times a week, and cardio training (10km jog) 1-2 times a week. I was exercising almost every day, with barely any time for rest or stretching to allow my body to heal & recover. Perhaps the only stretching I did, was to visit my massage therapist once a week for traditional full body massage. As time went by, I started developing chronic knee pain, which required me to consult a physiotherapist every month. Even so, I continued to keep up with the intensity of my training.
During that time, one year into my gym membership, I started making friends with the regulars who attended the same fitness classes with me. It started with the fitness instructor of the kickboxing class, who invited me to attend the HIIT class taught by her, in the same place twice a week. As I enjoyed the adrenaline high from pushing my physical body to my self-perceived limits & beyond, I started to attend most of her classes throughout the week. With time, the other regulars also introduced me to another hardcore fitness instructor who similarly taught kickboxing and HIIT classes, which I also attended.
With my daily persistence, the results of my efforts showed up in my physical body. I lost a considerable amount of weight that I had piled on in my first few years of legal practice, having worked extensively with minimal rest & no exercise. I also managed to gain some muscle mass, which allowed me to build a lean & toned physique that I desired for many years. A part of me was tired of being seen & judged as a frail & weak person stricken with an incurable medical condition. Somewhere within me, I wanted to prove everyone wrong. I wanted to show that I can be as strong & healthy as anyone else despite my medical condition, and I don’t need anyone’s sympathy in any way.
As I became more addicted to my hardcore gym life, I started introducing my colleagues (past & present) to my gym as well. Many of them were inspired to start exercising, having seen the “positive spillovers” in my physique over the years. In those years, fitness became a central part of my existence; I literally lived & breathed the gym life alongside the other regulars.
As with most human connections, issues started cropping up as we knew one another better.
On one occasion, I was invited to stay behind after one fitness class taught by the second fitness instructor, to celebrate the birthday of a fellow regular. We were chatting informally about random topics, including the first fitness instructor. I couldn’t remember what I said, but I could have blurted out my unfiltered opinions about her. Within the next few days, I was conspicuously blocked from the first fitness instructor’s social media accounts, with no idea why I was blocked.
Needless to say, I was quite affected by the first fitness instructor’s actions. I had no clue what I had said or done which might have offended her, as well as what exactly had been communicated to her consequently. I wasn’t given the opportunity to explain myself. As I grappled with my sorrow within me, it reminded me of my hastily bandaged wounded heart all these years, which buried deep within me, my childhood wounds of abandonment. That same night, as I did my strength training alone in the gym, I could feel my heart pulsating in pain, almost uncontrollably. I felt like a piece of disposable trash, to be chucked aside at a person’s whim & fancy. I felt the need to clam up & protect myself once more.
During this period, I started to forge a closer friendship with a fellow regular in the gym. My chronic knee pain had worsened, and at the physiotherapist’s advice, I had to reduce the intensity of my fitness classes. My friend invited me to join her at the last row of class, instead of the first few rows that I used to stand. She also invited me to join her in the other classes such as zumba, belly-dancing, stretchfit, and the like, which I would never have bothered to try on my own. As she was rather close to both fitness instructors & the other regulars, she started relaying to me what they think about me, and what I should and shouldn’t do in their presence. To be honest, as I recount my experience now, it is baffling why I even chose to accept all these opinions & judgements imposed upon me. But back then, I simply accepted & complied to the best of my ability.
After awhile, it became exhausting for me to try to accommodate to everyone’s needs & wishes. I realised that I can’t drastically change myself to a whole new person, to fit into someone else’s expectations. I was tired of tuning in to all these gossips & judgements. As I took time off to recover from my chronic knee pain, I started to withdraw from all these fitness classes that I used to attend, and to explore other lower intensity classes, either with my friend or on my own.
One day, out of the blue, I realised that my friend had conspicuously blocked me from her whatsapp & social media accounts. Yet again, I had no idea what I had said or done which might have offended her sufficiently, to deserve this kind of treatment. The second time that I was blocked, my childhood wounds of abandonment could barely be contained within me. This time round, I felt the full intensity of my wounded heart, which literally felt like it was stabbed right through with a weapon – shattered into pieces & dripping in blood, as the bandages came loose to reveal the deep wounds hidden beneath all these years. There was no logical reason to explain why I feel the way I did, and I couldn’t rationally coax myself out of the emotional pain. It was heart-wrenching, yet strangely familiar. It was my past emotional pain crying out to me to be healed.
That was the final straw for me. If there was anything that could force me out of my comfort zone, that was it.
The second time that I was blocked, I closed my doors to the outside world. Even after my friend unblocked me & contacted me, I couldn’t trust her any more. I became highly cautious & guarded towards her, to prevent a repeat of my naivety which triggered the deep wounds within me. All I wanted to do was to retreat inwards fully, to understand & heal myself.
After my past emotional pain was unleashed, it just refused to disappear, no matter what I did. Initially, I even scolded myself with vulgarities for being stupid & weak, but it ended up creating more sorrow within instead. For several months, I was almost going crazy, desperately searching for all kinds of solutions to heal my past emotional wounds that appeared.
It was during this period that I chanced upon several meditation tracks for deep emotional healing. Basically, the meditation guides me into an alpha state of mind, in order to visualise & work on issues buried deep within me. I started purchasing these meditation tracks & working with them once a week. After each meditation, even as a beginner, I noticed that it always brings to me a newfound sense of peace & acceptance within me. While nothing might have changed externally, I would be in a much better space internally. To me, that is all that matters, and the peace & acceptance is simply priceless.
Concurrently, I started paying attention to the subtle cues from the Universe, to guide me on what to do next.
As it was the season of giving, I was shopping online for a suitable Christmas gift to exchange with my friend. I came across a website which sells healthy nut butter, nuts & dried fruits, which sounded like a perfect fit for my friend. Coincidentally, for any online purchases made that day, I would be given a free pass to a yoga studio. When the box was finally delivered to my home, I opened it up and to my shock & horror, realised that the glass of one nut butter had broken on its way to me. After I contacted the customer service, the company arranged for me to physically exchange my box at one of its pop-up booth. In the midst of all these, I ended up keeping the free pass to the yoga studio.
After googling on the yoga studio, I realised that it was located fairly close to my workplace. Interestingly, the yoga studio had mystical vibes that attracted me to it. The founder came from the sacred mountains of Peru, and offered yoga classes linked to the five elements, as well as gong baths filled with the scent of palo santo & essential oils, coupled with hot cocoa tea for us. It was an amazing experience that opened my eyes to the world of sound healing, meditation and yoga, and how all these could be combined together for a unique healing experience seemingly beyond the earthly realm.
During this period, my body was stricken with episodes of inflammation linked to my autoimmune condition. The exact cause was unknown. Deep down, I suspected that the inflammation could have been triggered as a result of my ongoing emotional pain, which made my body more susceptible energetically to physical illnesses. Whatever the case may be, the weekly gong baths became my alternative mode of healing during this difficult period. After each session, the physical pain would dissipate noticeably, even though it would slowly creep back the next day. Nonetheless, it made me realise the healing power of sound frequencies.
And so, my journey into yoga, sound healing and meditation began.
It then brought me to reiki, sound healing, tarot and ultimately, the Akashic Records which is central to my life today. Although the journey was not easy & straightforward, I am glad to be guided here, and to do what I am doing these days.
If you are curious about my detailed journey into reiki, you may want to read my earlier blog post, titled “My vegetarian journey – seeking joy from within”, here. 🧡
With Love & Blessings,
Asha & Akashic Masters
If you would like to have a 1-on-1 session with me in your Akashic Records, to receive deep clarity & healing on your path, you may check out my General or Themed Akashic Light Reading & Healing Services. Each session will be customised for your needs. In particular, Themed Session 1 is on “Deep Clarity in Soul’s Purpose(s) & Choices in Life” and Themed Session 2 is on “Deep Healing of Past & Present Issues Afflicting the Soul”. Check out my Website link below for more details. 😉
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Thanks for the post Asha. Glad to know about your spiritual journey. Thanks for being a light for many us thru Akashic records.
Thank you, Appasamy! Sending Love & Blessings to you & your family 🧡🙏🏻