As far as I am aware, suicide remains a taboo topic that few people like to explore.
The act of committing suicide itself is unacceptable in the eyes of many people. It goes against their moral values to respect the sanctity of life. It reflects the weakness & vulnerabilities of the victim who ultimately chose the option of an early death. It conflicts with the expectations of others that we should endure & overcome all hardships, obstacles and challenges in life. It is frequently (and indirectly) a source of embarrassment & grief for the family members of the victim, who had to account to others on the victim’s cause of death amidst the loss.
I felt motivated to blog on this topic of suicide after my dad attended the funeral wake of a friend’s daughter.
In that story, the victim was a scholarship recipient, tied to a bond of 4-5 years with an institution. In the last few months of her scholarship bond, she decided to call it quits. However, owing to her difficult circumstances, she could not switch jobs easily and had to continue with the same institution. She ultimately passed away due to heart failure linked to unknown drugs being consumed in her body.
When I first heard of this story, I felt that so much more could have been done, if only the victim or her family members had access to the right resources to alleviate her suffering. To decide to cut her life short, it must have been a very difficult & painful decision.
When I asked my Masters what could have motivated people in similar circumstances to have chosen the path of committing suicide, they shared that factors may include:
- Feeling of hopelessness in what life has to offer
- Inability to “unstuck” from the difficult circumstances, be it related to work, education, relationship, medical condition, or other setbacks
- Desperate need to escape from the painful situation
- Belief that there is no available option to alleviate the suffering
We are not here to judge or criticise any person who had chosen to commit suicide. Everyone is entitled to exercise their choice.
Instead, we are here to offer some insights for everyone to consider. Perhaps on what lessons we could learn from this story, and how we could help ourselves or our loved ones in similar circumstances.
When I asked my Masters what lessons we could learn from this story, they shared the following points.
First, a scholarship bond usually tags with it the expectations from others of a higher level of work competency & commitment. It goes beyond mere monetary rewards to the recipient who had done well academically. It is a form of energetic cord that connects the institution & the recipient, to restrict the recipient’s career mobility & options during the bonded period. Therefore, we need to carefully consider the pros & cons of the scholarship bond, before we allow ourselves or our children to undertake it. It goes beyond a mere badge of honour & prestige. It affects the lives of ourselves or our children for the entire bonded period, and indirectly the subsequent years ahead. Questions we may ask ourselves:
- What are the pros & cons of accepting this scholarship bond?
- Am I prepared to pay the price for forfeiture of bond should things turn out unwell & I desperately need to find a way out for myself?
- What are my available options besides this scholarship bond?
Second, a life that is sacrificed in this situation is one too many. The Masters are here to support & empower their precious children to learn, grow & evolve through their soul’s experiences on earth. They try not to interfere with the soul’s learning as much as possible. Know that each trial & tribulation that we face, presents an opportunity for us to internalise certain lessons. We are not here to suffer; rather, we are here to identify & complete the lessons & issues that our soul has chosen for this rebirth. If we decide not to continue with this rebirth, we always have the option of the subsequent lifetime(s) to complete these unresolved issues, whenever our soul is ready.
Third, the need to seek external assistance when the situation arises. Do not suffer in silence, or silently try to endure through everything when we know that we are near breaking point. No matter how impossible it is for us in that situation, always put ourselves & our well-being first. Stop what we are doing, take a few steps back, and reassess the entire situation. Questions to reflect may include:
- How do I love & prioritise myself each day?
- How do I maintain healthy boundaries between myself & others?
- How can I stand up for myself to protect myself, when the need arises?
- What are my available options? Am I ready to imagine & explore all options available to me, or would I need help in this process?
If we feel confused & unable to think through these questions clearly & calmly, maybe it is time for us to consider what form of external assistance best serves us at that moment. There is immense power in taking the desired actions to change our reality. It may spur us on to courageously embark on new beginnings, or to alter what is needed, to ultimately shift us to a better space in time to come.
In addition to the above points, how else could we help ourselves or our loved ones in similar circumstances?
As family members, we can watch out for each other by regularly checking in on the well-being of our loved ones. Tell-tale signs may include drastic weight loss or weight gain, disinterest in life, sharing of suicidal thoughts, physical symptoms that may be linked to stress & overwork (such as chronic headaches, fatigue, gastric pain, heart pain), or anything that rings an alarm bell to you.
Often, family support rendered at the right time is crucial. Do not take these issues lightly, or merely dismiss them as a sign of the person’s weakness & inability to deal with stress. We are not here to judge or impose expectations on our family members at the potential cost of their life. Know that every little support matters, and your role matters.
That is also what soul families are meant to do; to support one another in the same network, so that we may all progress in our soul’s learning and ultimately go back to Source. We are not born in the same family by chance; it is a conscious choice that all souls involved agreed to partake. Let’s treasure these precious connections & take care of one another.
Wishing you the Best! Love & Blessings to All! 🤍
