I don’t know about you, but my pet phrase has always been “No, I can’t do this”.
This phrase has always been lurking at the back of my mind, taking center stage each time I attempt to shift out of my comfort zone. Be it my attempts to jog again, learn new knowledge or experiment with new ideas. If I may visualise this phrase as a person, he/she will be a strict disciplinarian or a harsh critic who stops me from trying & experiencing all facets of life.
Reminder from the Akashic Masters
When we stay within our comfort zone all our life, Masters reminded me that we somewhat do unto ourselves a disservice. Why? The reason is because we become too fearful of trying new things, gaining new knowledge, expanding our self-perceived boundaries & limitations, that we may end up simply walking around in circles all our life. We do not give ourselves the permission to experience what life may be on the other side of the spectrum, one that looks alluring yet intimidating to us. How would we know what the experience will be if we simply second-guess or attempt to predict the worst-case scenarios? How do we know that we are bound to fail without even attempting to try?
Sharing my personal journey of jogging
This phrase has been my biggest stumbling block from within. Take for example, my attempts to jog again. Few years back, I was an avid jogger. I wouldn’t say I can jog very fast, but I can certainly last very long. My running style in the past was best described as “slow & steady”.
Then came my bodily inflammation & arthritis likely triggered by my autoimmune condition and other external factors known or unknown to me (such as rainy weather, diet and stress). During this period, I also shifted to a vegetarian diet without much guidance (we will share on diet another day).
Everything that I was used to, came tumbling down. Jogging became somewhat of a mission impossible to me for a myriad of reasons. First, my knees felt weak & unstable due to the inflammation, and I could barely run without risking an injury or a sharp pain due to a misstep. Second, my stamina dropped drastically, and I felt breathless & giddy when jogging. Even my “slow & steady” pace was too intense for me. Coupled with my mindset of “all-or-none”, I eventually stopped jogging altogether. I went on to explore alternatives like yoga & brisk-walking instead. Years passed by in the twinkling of an eye.
Fast forward to 2021, I became fearful of jogging. Deep within, I envied other joggers in the park connector, and I yearned to jog like them, even if it was at a slower pace. But I was afraid of risking yet another injury or a sharp pain. It seemed like I was not meant to jog.
My attempts to start jogging again
One day, Masters suggested for me to try jogging again. They even volunteered to guide me how to jog, if needed. I was hesitant to try, because all I could think of was “No, I can’t do this”, and if I try, all the worst-case scenarios will definitely happen to me. However, that idea that they planted into my mind, slowly grew on me. I started recalling my happy memories of jogging, where I felt free, peaceful and at one with nature. Brisk-walking just wasn’t the same for me.
Last week, when I reached the entrance of the park connector, I decided to jog a little again. I didn’t open my Akashic Records, but I informed my Masters to guide me nonetheless. I started jogging really slowly, almost akin to my brisk-walking pace. I told myself that I had nothing to lose, nothing to prove. My ego will not get in the way, with all the disruptive thoughts of how others will judge me, or how I “fail” if I can’t sustain my jogging all the way. I will just be in the moment of trying.
That mindset worked really well for me. I was extremely mindful throughout the entire process of jogging. I could feel my breath going in & out of my body, my lungs expanding & contracting, and I could observe how each foot lands on the ground and strides forward again. Alarm bells will ring within each time I reach “danger zones” like up slopes, down slopes and uneven terrain. If I feel that I am unable to manage the uneven terrain, I simply stop jogging, walk past the area, and start jogging. For the first time, my mind felt so fluid & flexible. If it was me in the past, I wouldn’t have allowed myself the option of switching from jogging to walking then to jogging, as needed. I returned home feeling tired yet fulfilled, because I have completed my “mission impossible”.
I allowed myself a rest day in between each attempt to jog. On rest days, I will do yin yoga in the comfort of my bedroom. Giving my body and particularly my legs, a much-needed release and break.
It only gets better
For the second time I jogged, I noticed slight improvements in my stamina & pace. My body felt more natural & in tune with the rhythm of jogging. I felt more confident to pick up my pace. Even so, I was especially mindful throughout the entire process of jogging, focused on my breath, my lungs and my legs. Not allowing myself to be distracted lest I didn’t breathe sufficiently or land my foot incorrectly on the ground. Trying my very best to simply be in the moment of trying.
Every effort to try, counts. Masters reminded me that everything offers a lesson. Even if we fail, we learnt what went wrong, and we explore what we can possibly do to improve or circumvent the problem. There is no limit to our learning, except our self-perceived limitations & boundaries. So let’s give ourselves the permission to try, starting from this moment onwards.
Much love & blessings to All! <3
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