My vegetarian journey – seeking joy from within

I didn’t grow up as a vegetarian.

For thirty years of my life, I was an omnivore, and I certainly enjoyed consuming meat. Back then, it didn’t even cross my mind that I will ever be a vegetarian. Just the word “vegetarian” sounded so restrictive & inflexible to me, in a society where we are surrounded by omnivores as the norm.

For a few years of my working life, I was deeply attracted to gym life in a bid to counter work stress & cut those flabs. I was quite a hardcore gym goer, as I squeezed in almost every bit of free time to attend fitness classes like kickboxing, HIIT exercises, or even carrying weights in the gym. For gym goers, everyone yearns for a lean & toned physique. Hence, to build those lean muscles, consuming higher levels of protein is the norm. To work towards that “perfect physique”, I chose to consume more meat options like chicken breast & even protein shakes.

So you might be wondering, how do I even end up as a vegetarian now?

It is truly amazing how life unfolded for me. I deeply resonate with the concept that doors will open for you when it is meant to be. Sometimes, we call it “divine timing”, because nobody can really predict that perfect timing in which things unfold in each person’s blueprint.

In end-2017, I decided to end my gym life. Everything felt so suffocating at one point – the environment, the people & their gossips, the fitness classes, and even the routine. I felt like I couldn’t continue with the routine any longer. I just wanted to end it all and start afresh: new environment, people & classes. I stopped attending my gym classes & let my gym membership lapse, while I started exploring alternatives like yoga & sound bath. Back then, all these alternatives sounded so exotic to me. I found myself attracted to the mind-body connection that these alternatives offer. Indeed, it opened up a whole new world for me: new options, new friends, new ways of doing things, and importantly, newfound love for my body which I had abused during my few years of gym life.

As I deepened my love towards yoga, it felt like I would never do anything else except yoga. I even contemplated that maybe one day, I will register for a yoga teacher training course. I enjoyed every class and I yearned for more.

My inflammatory flare-ups

But then, my body didn’t seem happy with my newfound routine. It protested by launching frequent episodes of inflammatory flare-ups within. No matter how hard I tried, the inflammation just wouldn’t go away. I was physically in so much pain everywhere. Back then, I would gladly pay anyone who could remove this pain from me. With the inflammatory flare-ups, I sometimes lose my appetite for a few days, and I would feel very exhausted. When I consulted my specialist for my autoimmune condition, the only solution he could think of was prednisolone (steroids). In fact, there was once my inflammation was so bad that I had red webs all over my arms & legs, and I had to take steroids for a few weeks for it to subside. I had an earlier experience with steroids in my junior college days when I was first diagnosed with the autoimmune condition. All I could recall was the destruction it caused to my body in the form of weight gain & I was forced to give up rigorous activities like martial arts that I loved.

I didn’t like steroids. I didn’t want steroids to be my only back-up plan when my inflammation recurs each time.

Discovering reiki in my life

That same period, the word “reiki” appeared everywhere to me. In the mystical sound bath place, I saw a few 1-hour classes on “Introduction to Reiki”, where participants would be given a temporary reiki attunement & experience how a reiki healing feels like. That was really something new to me. Was it some placebo effect floating around with this reiki hype? Were people so gullible that they simply trusted everything? Was it even scientifically proven & accepted as mainstream medicine? What was their basis for claiming that reiki works? It sounded nonsensical to me.

Yet, my body (with all the inflammation) desperately wanted to give it a try. I chanced upon a reiki yoga class on classpass, and decided to give it a go. I told myself that if I could sense some energies (in whatever form), I would immediately register for a reiki 1 workshop nearby.

Next I know, I registered for a two-days reiki 1 workshop nearby. With the reiki attunement, I wasn’t a convert immediately. I simply kept trying. I diligently clocked at least 1 hour reiki treatment daily, and added on more reiki for those body parts in pain. After awhile, I realised that no matter how exhausted my body was, reiki always has this low profile way of replenishing my energy back. The reiki energies were barely noticeable, yet there was truly something more than mere placebo effect. Given how painful my inflammatory flare-ups were, how did the pain even subside after 1 hour of putting my hands all over my body? Then I started observing colours in my inner eye & sudden gushes of energies from nowhere.

Yet, the most amazing & unexpected change that reiki brought to my life was….

My total change in taste buds! 😅

I used to adore meat. I couldn’t enjoy each meal without meat.

After the reiki attunement, I couldn’t swallow meat any more. The first time I tried one of my favourite chicken at a salad bar, my stomach churned in protest for a few hours & I felt so nauseous. The next time I tried meat again at a course with catered lunch, I totally regretted. I felt so nauseous that I told myself that I am not touching meat any more.

And so, my vegetarian journey began, almost without a choice.

If I had to eat, the food must be vegetarian, because my stomach simply couldn’t accept any meat. It wasn’t as if I loved my vegetarian food. I just had no choice, and I needed to eat something daily to sustain my life.

For almost two years of my vegetarian journey, it wasn’t entirely an enjoyable experience. On a deeper level, I wasn’t happy that I was this “odd one out” at home, banished with a solo vegetarian diet that nobody fancied. To add fuel to the flame, my dad continued to rave about how enjoyable his meals were with meat included, and often absent-mindedly asked me if I wanted some meat.

Further switch to a largely organic vegan diet

This year, I started switching to a largely organic vegan diet, for better health. That means I had to cut out the unhealthy vegetarian options such as processed / frozen food, deep fried food, food & desserts with high sugar content etc. I also had to cut out eggs, dairy & honey from my diet.

It was such a drastic change. Most of my meals had to be revamped to fit into this newfound diet.

My realisation that I wasn’t joyful with my vegetarian diet

In this process of purifying my bodies with inner work, it dawned upon me one day that I wasn’t joyful with my vegetarian / organic vegan diet. Unlike most people, I didn’t choose to be a vegetarian out of compassion for all living beings, animals included. I was thrusted onto this vegetarian journey after reiki appeared in my life. Hence, I became a vegetarian, almost grudgingly. Perhaps I knew it in the past, but I wasn’t ready to face it.

This time when the realisation struck me, I was ready to face it.

My spiritual journey had unknowingly given me the courage to face the parts of me that I didn’t dare to see in the past. The part of me that felt unloved, abandoned & unwanted. The part of me that travels back to the primary school memories of swallowing down tears while flipping books alone in a quiet section of the library that nobody visits. The part of me that hates to be the “odd one out”; that yearns to fit in with the rest. The part of me that feels unworthy & inferior when compared with the rest.

As my spiritual journey unfolds, I realised that it brought to me a newfound gentleness that I never observed within myself. The feminine energies of love & compassion for myself & my inner children. The part of me that genuinely cares when my inner children do not feel joyful. The part of me that bothers to think of creative ideas to help myself & my inner children feel joy again – be it exploring new experiences like calligraphy, dizi (Chinese flute), jogging and even allocating “free play time” each week, just to spark joy. 💚😉

Exploring “free play time” after work

Heeding the advice of my feminine self, I decided to indulge in “free play time” after work one day, just to do what my inner children yearn to do. My inner children suggested for me to pack mantous (steamed dough with fillings like red bean, pumpkin, black sesame or yam in it) for the family. They like it when others around them are happy. So I headed out to pack these mantous.

As it was late, I decided to eat my dinner outside as well. I ordered what I thought I used to fancy at a vegetarian cafe. Interestingly, after more than a year since my last visit, I realised that I no longer craved for the same kind of food. In fact, as I ate each mouthful of food, I was reminded of how lucky I am, that my mum bothers to whip up customised organic vegan meals for me. Simple, nourishing and cooked with so much love. 💕 At that moment, it dawned upon me that I was the luckiest person on earth, to enjoy home-cooked meals which are so lovingly prepared with good quality organic ingredients that no amount of money can buy. How blessed I was & I am. 🙏🏻

With this newfound realisation, I brought home my newfound joy & appreciation for my home-cooked organic vegan meals. I stopped comparing my meals versus my dad’s meals. I stopped getting triggered by my dad’s remarks of how good the chicken / fish tasted.

I learned to bless each meal to give me the life force that I need to power me through each day. I learned to bless the kind souls that made each meal possible for me (from the farmers, to logistic companies, to supermarkets, to my mum, to the gas/electricity/water suppliers taken for granted, to all employees, and so on). After mindfully recalling these blessings, I enjoy each mouthful of food as it is.

It feels amazing to witness these baby steps of progress within me.

Sharing Masters’ thoughts with everyone

Dear children, each of us have our own set of struggles in life. There is no struggle too small or frivolous to go unnoticed. We are here to support you as you embark on your own journey to heal & release. May you be courageous & one day center into the joy that already exists within you. Joy is not an elusive concept apart from you. You are intertwined with the inner qualities of joy & courage, any time you are ready to activate them.

Wishing you the Best, Blessings be to All! 🤍

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Dear friends,

I have co-created with my Akashic Masters on a series of Free Podcasts on “Demystifying the Akashic Records”. If you are interested, you may either access them by following my Spotify account or clicking the link below.🎙