Have you wondered who are your “mirrors” in life?
By this, I meant the people who reflect to us the unresolved issues within us. It is akin to us looking at all parts of ourselves (good & bad) in the mirror. These people could be our family members, friends, bosses, colleagues, partners, and even strangers with whom our paths crossed.
Most of the time, we neither have a purely loving relationship towards our “mirrors”, nor feel calm & peaceful in their presence. Their presence, speech & actions never fail to trigger us. They have the ability to take us on a rollercoaster ride of our own emotions, particularly denser emotions such as anger, annoyance, frustration, intense sadness & the like.
Sometimes, we may even wish for all these “mirrors” to disappear from our life. We may wonder, how calm & peaceful life would be without these “mirrors”? What is the purpose of these “mirrors” in our life?
I am inspired to blog on this topic, as I realised that I frequently hold much misunderstanding towards my own “mirrors”.
One of my greatest “mirror” in life is my dad, whom I am staying with.
Since the day I started working on myself, our relationship has drastically improved in recent times. It is almost unbelievable. If you asked me five years ago, whether I would one day be able to genuinely love & respect my dad for who he is, I would think it is mission impossible. There were so much grudges, unfairness, anger & resentment that I held towards him, in past & present lifetimes, which I couldn’t allow myself to simply let all these go. A part of me stubbornly clings on to all these pain points, ready to unleash at the slightest trigger from him.
As a result, we frequently ended up quarrelling with each other, with my mum sandwiched in between. Unlike my primary school self, my wounded child residing within refused to back down from these quarrels, silenced in fear. Instead, I ended up going all out to protect & defend myself at all costs. In times of heated exchange of words, I would be ever ready to remind him of all his past misdeeds & wrongdoings, whether he accepts it or not. Of course, it didn’t go down well with him. As someone who clings on to his pride deeply, he would similarly retaliate aggressively, all ready to attack my personality & belief systems. All these quarrels became a battle of our egos; nobody wanted to lose out to the other.
Before I started working on myself, I always feel that it is all his fault. It has nothing to do with me. Why am I so unlucky to be born in this household with this kind of father? Why am I not born in another household with a kind & loving father? I was secretly envious of other classmates, most of whom seemingly had doting fathers since young. In my case, for many years, we couldn’t even look at each other in the eyes.
After I started working on myself, I realised that I too have a role to play in how this relationship unfolds. Every relationship, including a parent-child relationship, takes two hands to clap. At the same time, I needed to address the unhealed or unresolved issues within me, so that these do not flare up at the slightest trigger. In this context, I find journaling to be a useful means for me to revisit the past, acknowledge all that had happened, release those suppressed emotions buried deep within me, and create the space for new beginnings. Accessing my Akashic Records deepens my healing & release to the next level, by offering me a higher perspective in identifying the root causes of my triggers, the purpose of this relationship, and what I can do to move things forward. Combined together, both methods allow me to release the past baggage (such that it slowly feels neutral), and empower me with actionable steps to work on.
While our relationship has vastly improved, my dad remains my “mirror” in my life.
The key difference, however, is my awareness of our higher purpose to each other in this relationship. As with all relationships, this relationship was consciously chosen by our souls to master certain lessons; it did not arise through mere coincidence or misfortune. Hence, I can either choose to work on myself to master these lessons in this lifetime, or I could wait till the next lifetime(s). Either way, I am in the driver’s seat; the choice is mine.
These days, while the triggers have greatly reduced, triggers still arise from time to time. Each time I notice myself feeling triggered, I see it as my opportunity to work on myself at a deeper level. That somewhere deep within me, there is still an imbalance or disharmony waiting to be unraveled. As I work on myself layer by layer, I get to understand myself even better each time. Therefore, each trigger can be a positive experience if we use it to slowly heal our lower personality.
Masters, would you have any thoughts to share with us?
Dear children, take your time to slowly learn from the difficult experiences in your life. Do not hasten your soul’s learning, just because it is unbearable to see our shadow self as it is. They are meant to guide you in your soul’s journey, by allowing you to internalise & draw out the higher perspectives & wisdom, so that you may move forward with courage & confidence. They are not meant to keep us stuck, or walk around in circles, or fill our hearts with anger, hatred & resentment. We encourage everyone to face the difficult experiences bravely, with an empowered mindset, and to take in the lessons in our stride. The process is never easy, but rest assured that we will support each of you all the way.
Blessings to All! 🤍
