Jealousy is a deep-seated emotion that everybody experiences on a certain level, yet it often gets conveniently buried & dismissed. While we are often willing to discuss about our anger, fears & worries, it is much more difficult to even broach the topic of jealousy.
What is jealousy? When do I feel jealous? Why do I feel jealous? What can I do to release the jealousy?
What is jealousy?
According to the Masters, jealousy is an unhealed & often suppressed emotion that dislikes the successes, victories & happiness experienced by others, and the wish to take it away from them. Jealousy often comes from a place of lack & insecurity, whereby we find ourselves to be lacking when compared against the other person’s achievements, attributes, good qualities & even material possessions.
What is the difference between “jealousy” & “envy”? While both emotions crave for the perceived successes, victories & happiness experienced by others, jealousy comes with an added component of anger (whether directed at self or others), or even the desire to harm. A person experiencing “envy” would probably think: “I wish I have that”. A person experiencing “jealousy” may probably think: “I wish I have that. How unfair it is that this person receives that. How is this person even deserving of that? Why am I not the chosen one?”
When do I feel jealous?
Just reflecting on this lifetime alone, I have had countless instances where I experienced jealousy.
Growing up in a traditional family, I was inculcated values (whether directly or indirectly) that males were more cherished & precious compared to females. It was often repeated to us that man is the head of the family, they take on the family surname even after marriage, and they continue the family line through their offspring who similarly will take on the family surname when born. Therefore, since imperial times, a man is trusted to inherit the family assets & tasked with the noble responsibility of continuing the family lineage.
In my young mind back then, I often wondered: Why do people even bother to give birth to females under such circumstances, if their hearts & minds are not willing to extend equality to all their children? What is a female’s role at home & in the society? Is a female’s role at home simply to provide company to the chosen male, so that he does not grow up all alone? Is a female entitled to ask for more – more love, respect & equality, rather than to be reminded to simply be grateful that she is at least given food, shelter & an education? Why must we (as females) be frequently reminded of our second-class status in the family line? Are we not trusted as a child or viewed suspiciously as a threat? Is a female’s role in society simply to grow up, get married, leave the family & give birth? Why can’t females similarly aspire for more in life?
Of course, I would be lying to myself if I say I didn’t feel jealous when I looked at the seemingly preferential treatment of the chosen male.
As I grew up, I was able to revisit my perspectives. I slowly observed why I was even inculcated with these values in the first place. It wasn’t because my dad was an evil person. The truth was, he too, experienced his fair share of discrimination even from his own dad. My dad grew up in a large family of 6 siblings (including himself). As the eldest son in a traditional family, he ought to be trusted to inherit the family assets & tasked with the noble responsibility of continuing the family lineage. Instead, he was disliked by his own dad since young, and was often viewed suspiciously as a threat who may rob his other siblings of the family assets. No matter how hard my dad tried to win the love & trust of his own dad (through paying more allowances, hospital bills, maid levies and the like), he never made it anywhere near. Seen in that context, my dad’s treatment of his own children was his attempt to correct the injustices & unfairness that he suffered & suppressed since young. That explains why, for decades, he kept repeating his views on male vs female children, lest we forget & repeat the suffering that he experienced.
Why do I feel jealous?
In my childhood story cited above, my jealousy was probably a mix of envy, anger & sadness. There was “envy” because I wished I was at the receiving end of the preferential treatment, that I was the first-class instead of the second-class gender at home. There was “anger” due to feelings of injustice & unfairness, which stems from my belief that everyone (whether male or female) should be treated equally. In my Junior College days, in preparation for the General Paper, one of my pet topics was gender equality. I devoured articles & books on gender equality, and I could write passionately about them from many angles. If there was anything I inherited from my dad, it was those feelings of injustice & unfairness that he too suffered from his own dad. There was “sadness” because I held a deep longing for the love & trust of my own dad.
In my journey to heal, I also drilled deeper into past life experiences with my dad, through which I understood when, why and how the anger & resentment towards him first arose. That is, in my view, the beauty of accessing our Akashic Records. Not to pry into the past out of mere curiosity, but to dive deeply to uncover the root issue / root experience with the intent to heal & release.
What can I do to release the jealousy?
According to the Masters, awareness is often the first step towards healing. When we are finally ready to dig out these suppressed emotions & face them directly with the intent to heal & release, the healing has already begun. When we come to terms with what happened & reconcile all differences with a calm & peaceful mind, we have advanced in our own healing. We do not always see noticeable progress, or derive clear conclusions, from these past events which hurt us badly & made us feel jealous. That is perfectly fine. Just by observing & journalling down all our thoughts, emotions & feelings that have arisen in that event, we will almost certainly observe a noticeable lightness & brightness within us.
Let’s strive to lift these past baggage off our shoulders, one by one.
Sending you lots of Love & Light! Blessings! 🤍
If you are interested to access your Akashic Records with the intent to heal & release, you may want to consider registering for a Themed Akashic Light Reading & Healing Session, which centers on “Deep Healing of Past and Present Issues Afflicting the Soul”. Click link below for details.
