Overview of Jane’s* (not her real name) Queries
| Any general messages for Jane | |
| Q1 | I feel very drained because I’m usually the giving person to my family members. My family is not good to me, and I have to give a lot to them. But I’ve got very good friendships, in that my friends are very supportive and giving to me. Why is it like that? It is a recurring pattern. Is there anything to do with my past life, which is why this is the way things are today? |
| Q2 | My relationship with my husband has been very strained. It is the same recurring pattern, like how my dad will use me and have certain expectations of me. I think my husband also sees me as somebody good to have. I don’t feel the love I’m supposed to feel. And it has come to the point where I wish to untangle this. But I also have children with him, whom I love and try to be a good example for. And so, I’m caught between living a truth for myself, and the norm of keeping the family together. Any advice? |
| Q3 | This year, I met another man who was very aggressive in going after me. I really feel the spiritual connection to him. I’ve never felt like this before in my life, like my relationship with men has not been good. I’m always the giving role, but for the first time in my life, I’ve somebody behind me who can support me, spiritually, mentally and also practically. This whole thing is very draining, confusing and overwhelming for me. What is this guy’s role in my life? Whether I should pursue this, observe this, or close this off so I can move on and I know what to do? |
| Q4 | How can I be a better mother to my children? |
| Q5 | Is there anything I should look out for in my business? |
At the start, we asked if there were any general messages for Jane. This was what came through. We are delighted to have you here in this session. This may be, or is the first time for you in this Akashic Records session with us in this lifetime, but certainly not so in past lives. We have communed with you on several lifetimes, with you as a messenger and working alongside with us. You may have forgotten the past, but we have not forgotten about you. And welcome home, my child.
Q1: I feel very drained because I’m usually the giving person to my family members. My family is not good to me, and I have to give a lot to them. But I’ve got very good friendships, in that my friends are very supportive and giving to me. Why is it like that? It is a recurring pattern. Is there anything to do with my past life, which is why this is the way things are today?
They say that you tend to be a very giving person in the family, in the household, because you took on the assumption or expectation that you, as the sole or primary caregiver, have to take charge of everything, every responsibility that falls on your shoulders, involving your loved ones. And so, over the years, you silently took up all these responsibilities.
The more that you take on, the more that the loved ones unfortunately assume that you have the capacity to take on, and the more they took the situation for granted. Therefore, over the years, it’s not just physical exhaustion. It is also like an energetic burnout, where on the emotional and mental levels, your whole energy field is very weak. In the sense that the auric fields around you are very thin. And it makes you very susceptible to manipulation by your family members, by your loved ones. For example, to expect you to do certain things, to discharge certain responsibilities, to assume that you should be the primary one in charge, the caregiver. When, in fact, in a more balanced household, everyone should step up to their responsibility. There needs to be an open mutual discussion that you can’t be taking everything on, it needs to be shared equally, and if so, how to go about doing it?
In this case, it is a recurring pattern for you because it is very difficult for you to attempt to set boundaries for yourself. A part of you feels almost guilty of giving in to your own needs, at the expense of others. I’m sensing this guilt, if we trace it even further, it is linked to some childhood memories that you may hold, or expectations that you have taken on during childhood days. That in order to feel loved by your family members, you need to be like this, you need to take on all these roles.
Jane asked if there is any way she should rectify this, especially with her father, because they are now not talking to each other? Whether they can restore the relationship, or whether it is better for her to do her duty and stay arm’s length?
They say that you as a Soul, have signed on to take this difficult role, in terms of this difficult dynamics in this complicated family web that you found yourself entangled in. As a Soul, even if we physically want to disconnect from them, the reality is that all of you are corded together in a web of light. The whole family tree, all your ancestors and yourself, and all your family members.
Your Soul also signed on to take this responsibility, to uplift this whole web of light. And how exactly to go about doing that? You then be that change maker, that first person in your family line to do something to truly heal yourself, and through that, to heal that family line.
What is evident now is the less than harmonious relationship with a father. But in reality, what happens is, for want of a better word, a corrupted family network where the right values and ideals were not being passed down the line. And it becomes a generational issue. Because the limited beliefs that your father took on again comes from his own parents, and then it goes up and up the family tree. So, to truly work on all these issues, we have to realise that it is a multi-generational issue that you are entrenched in, not just a father and daughter not speaking and why so?
But it is this whole web that you found yourself in. They remind that then your responsibility is to be that change maker. So, how can you go about doing that?
First, it is to work on your own energy, to anchor in peace as much as possible throughout the day. How to go about anchoring in peace? Have a daily practice, where it is like anchors of light in your life. Where, for example, no matter how busy your schedule is, to slot in pockets of time, 15 minutes, 30 minutes, here and there, where you can sit in silence in a meditation, even singing mantras, doing some quiet journaling and reflection, just writing out your thoughts, your feelings. A lot of your feelings are being suppressed, because it seems as if there is nobody with the right capacity to handle and process that suppressed feelings within you. The fact that you’re over-burdening yourself and your energy fields with so much things. But you are not having that outlet, that ventilation, to air. So then, journaling is a good means for you to ventilate.
What do we mean by journaling? It is very simple, having a diary, and just writing down how you are feeling, your thoughts, what are you grateful for in this difficult situation that you are in? The purpose is to be honest with your feelings. When you are honest with your feelings, first, you have an outlet to share, so you don’t suppress and it becomes an illness. Second, it loses its stronghold over you, because all these suppressed feelings, they accumulate and become a very strong force over the mind. And it then creates a lot of negative feelings or thoughts about people that we care about, but because we haven’t communicated properly, it results in a lot of unspoken conflicts.
They remind that you can be that change maker in your family, just by starting with yourself, by anchoring in peace. No matter how busy your schedule is, even to the extent of looking at your whole schedule and trying to find pockets of time where it is “me” time. Women, as nurturers of the family, it is very difficult to have a few hours to yourself. But really finding 15 minutes, 30 minutes, here and there, it is possible, and that becomes your anchor of light.
Even when you are bathing, an intention to remove all those energies and emotions that don’t belong to you as you bathe, and then that becomes a cleansing ritual for yourself. So, things like that. That will help with the peace.
Second and concurrently, you may want to explore doing karma healing for yourself and your family lines. Why it works? All of you are in this web of light together, this whole family, because of the bloodline, family karma, the Soul’s choice. So, when one person changes, and one person does the healing, it creates the ripple effect down the family line, and even to ancestors that passed on everything. So, it is very powerful.
Q2: My relationship with my husband has been very strained. It is the same recurring pattern, like how my dad will use me and have certain expectations of me. I think my husband also sees me as somebody good to have. I don’t feel the love I’m supposed to feel. And it has come to the point where I wish to untangle this. But I also have children with him, whom I love and try to be a good example for. And so, I’m caught between living a truth for myself, and the norm of keeping the family together. Any advice?
They say, as you heal your relationship with your father through karma healing and anchoring in peace, that will take some time, at least 6 to 12 months, for the results to slowly unfold.
Indeed, as your wisdom has correctly pointed out, this is a recurring issue that stems from a dysfunctional pattern you had with your dad, male figures in your family. Therefore, your spouse is an energetic reflection of that dysfunctional pattern, that imbalance in treatment, the fact that you had to take on a lot of expectations from them quietly and then discharging to the best of your responsibility. And over time, they assume that you have the capacity, and they load you with more. But they don’t understand that everyone has a limit. Because they can’t empathise, they can’t see from your situation. They can only see for themselves that this has been the norm, the situation, all this while. You have not voiced out for all these years. How would I know? That’s from their point of view.
In this case, first, focus on anchoring in your own peace. Second, that family healing will create some issues that will come to light with your dad. And we are keeping a very open heart and mind. Karma healing does to a certain extent remove certain very outdated karma. But there are some karma that needs to be experienced by the Soul.
What is karma? Karma is our friend. Why? Because it presents lessons for us that our Soul chose in this lifetime, that if we internalise these lessons and gain that wisdom, then we move on. But there are a variety of ways to master and learn these lessons.
It can be through a very tough, estranged relationship over many years. Or it can be supported with so much Divine ease and grace that maybe it spurs a little conflict, but that conflict starts parties talking that has never happened for so many years. And because of that talking, true emotions, feelings, and intentions are being revealed. And then, that sets the path for a better relationship, for that relationship to rebuild itself, for parties to make brand new choices. Do we still want to be talking, or do we want to just mind your own business from now on? So, it rebalances that relationship. That’s the power of family karma healing, because it creates the opportunity for parties to rebuild the relationship.
Keep an open heart and mind. If you try to do that, how that will unfold between you and your dad. While that happens, try not to make any rash decision for the relationship with the husband, just letting it sit. Because ultimately, this relationship is a reflection of your relationship with your dad, and whatever lessons and wisdom that you accrue from your relationship with your dad will then spill over to your relationship with your spouse. It is a similar concept.
They are giving an example. For example, that karma healing triggered an opportunity for you to start talking to your dad. There was an incident that happened that triggered both parties to start talking, and it was an honest conversation. In that conversation, you managed to speak up and stand up for yourself, and all these years of bottled-up feelings. You had this outlet to reveal. From then on, it rebalances that relationship in a different angle, and as that relationship changes, you also realise that you found your own voice to then stand up and speak up for yourself in a similar fashion with your husband. And it comes with the intention of not suppressing your own feelings anymore, because you are sick and tired of being a version of yourself that you are not and you can’t keep up with forever, and people don’t know that. So, you want to stand in your own light and just share things as it is, and allow again, that relationship to rebalance itself. And parties with honest, open communication, everything on the table, to then decide for themselves and make brand new choices. Do we want to continue this relationship, but with a different approach, or do we want to move on from here? So, that is a very powerful process.
So, for the relationship with the husband, in summary, not to take any action in the meantime. Focus on your relationship with your father, focus on yourself – that peace and family healing, and then things will roll on from there, 6 to 12 months. And then, you can re-assess the situation and see what wisdom you have accrued by then, with your relationship with your father. That will then spur you on to do something about your relationship with your husband.
Stay tuned for Part 2 of the session! ☀️
Many Blessings,
Asha
🎙️You may listen to the audio recording in Season 2 Episode 6 of my Podcast on “Demystifying the Akashic Records”. Spotify and Apple Podcast links below.
