Recently, I started reflecting on how certain universal laws of truth have unfolded in my life.
In particular, the law of grace, which essentially means “ask and you will receive”.
At first glance, it seems almost too good to be true. It is easy for skepticism to set in & dismiss everything as nonsensical. Are you sure that I can receive everything that I asked for? Why then did this not materialise in my life in reality?
As I thought about this deeper, further questions came up for me:
- How do I expect grace to manifest in my life?
- In what areas of my life have I received grace?
- Am I in alignment energetically to everything that I asked for? If not, what are my beliefs, assumptions & expectations that may be restricting me from acknowledging or inviting grace into my life?
One limiting belief that I noticed within me, is that I tend to assume or expect grace to manifest in a HUGE manner in my life. Almost like those amplified movie effects, where the presence of grace is mind-blowing & earth-shattering.
But what about those tiny bits of grace that were given to us from time to time? Do we remember them, or do we take them for granted, or do we dismiss them as pure luck?
Today, I would like to share with you how grace has unfolded in my work life.
As some of you may know, I graduated with a law degree many years back. To be called to the Bar, all law graduates were required to pass the Part B examinations and to complete 6 months of training with a law firm.
I was no exception. I started my legal career as a trainee in a mid-sized local law firm, specialising in corporate real estate & conveyancing work. Life was very difficult and stressful back then. I joined the firm completely clueless on how to deal with any matter from start to end. To hone my skills, I had to clock very long hours every day, to understand the process & complete the assigned matters. As I was very inexperienced, I frequently ended up being scolded by, or the subject of complaint of, my assigned mentor, bankers, clients & secretaries.
It didn’t help that my boss (or assigned mentor) operated in the traditional old-school style, where clocking long hours was prioritised as a symbol of dedication, loyalty & hardwork. To secure a job in the law firm, I had to adjust to his working style & expectations. On one occasion, I was so tired that I decided to leave the office slightly earlier than him that night. The next day, he called me into his office and told me sternly, “what makes you think you can leave the office earlier than me?”. Back then, I didn’t know how to stand up for myself at all. I apologised. On another occasion, my mum was hospitalised for a surgery, and I didn’t even dare to request for a day’s leave to accompany my mum. I waited late into the night before I finally plucked up the courage to ask for his approval to leave earlier, so that I could rush to the hospital & check in on my mum. The next day, he called me into his office to carefully grill me on my mum’s condition, just in case I might have lied to him.
My experiences as a legal trainee allowed me to truly internalise how life as a transactional lawyer is like, behind closed doors.
The media’s portrayal of a glamorous job as a lawyer is often biased & far from the truth, when compared to my life in reality. Every morning, my boss would summon me to his room to take his order for drinks, which I had to prepare for him according to his prescribed instructions. Several times a day, I would be summoned to his room to fill his water bottles up. When we attend meetings, I had to carry all the files, sometimes his blazer & water bottle, while he marched ahead on his own. Throughout the day, he would summon me to his room to write down his speech in verbatim, and draft all his emails for him. I obeyed all instructions in order to secure the permanent job as an associate at the law firm.
As a legal associate, life was no better for me. I was still toiling very hard at work every day. As I was staying in a remote part of Singapore, the daily train commute from home to office and back became a struggle. I was expected to reach the office earlier than my boss, and to leave the office later than my boss. It was a daily struggle to endure the long train commutes, as well as the long hours at work. Many a times, as the night sets in, I would be completely exhausted from coping with the demands of work. At some point in time, I couldn’t even find the energy to carry my work bag & walk 10 mins from the train station to my home. I would call home & ask for my mum’s help to carry my bag.
Later on, my boss decided to move to greener pastures at a large law firm, and invited me to join him. Initially, I was hesitant, as I knew how difficult it was to work for a selfish boss like him. He needed me to assist him to efficiently complete all his assigned matters. At the same time, I knew that I wasn’t ready to strike it out on my own. I needed to clock more experience before I would be easily employable everywhere.
So I decided to join my boss at the large law firm, where I stayed on for the next few years.
At the large law firm, my life was at an all-time low. Outwardly, my life looked good. I was busy assisting in large-scale property acquisitions, divestments, sale & leasebacks, financing and REITs. I was receiving a good pay every month. Inwardly, my life was in a terrible mess. I was expected to work like a billable machine; it felt as if there was no end in sight. My self-worth was measured in the form of billable hours that I could clock every day. And therein lies the irony. On one hand, we were expected to account for, and bill, almost every minute of our time. On the other hand, we were required to justify our billable hours clocked for each file. As my boss similarly needed to justify his existence, he started manipulating with these billable hours, by upping his & reducing mine.
As my boss struggled to justify his continued existence, I was basically at the beck & call of all the other bosses as well. I started serving three different bosses, and assisting them with their respective matters. In addition, I was sometimes assigned to work on ad-hoc matters with other partners, as there were too few associates available for all to use. At that point, I was operating at my maximum capacity. I could barely breathe through the mountain of work for me to clear every day. Besides the bosses, I had to deal with the incessant calls from everywhere, as well as to dedicate time to pore through pages & pages of words every day.
The breaking point came when I was asked to serve the fourth boss regularly as well. At that point, I knew it was beyond my maximum capacity. It was put to me in a way that I didn’t know how to reject. I slowly realised how much I have given away my power to others to decide my fate. I didn’t know how to stand up for myself, or to tactfully reject to preserve the remnants of my soul. It felt as if I was burning myself away. The fourth boss was the famed tigress of the law firm, and she was my wake-up call.
At the same time, several events happened that made me re-think of my job. On the first occasion, a long-serving admin staff was stricken with an incurable condition, and she was literally left waiting to die in the hospital. For weeks, she clung on to her life, with her life & her organs sustained through the machine that she was hooked onto. I later found out from a staff (who visited her regularly) that she was waiting to see the senior partner whom she served for several decades, who was too busy with work to pay her a visit. Finally, he did. The next day she left. The law firm sent her a condolence wreath to recognise her decades of contributions to them. The senior partner attended her wake, and wrote a touching tribute to her, which was sent to all of us. Soon, she was forgotten, and life continued as usual. It was a stark reminder to me that our contributions to the law firm were only worth a condolence wreath, should we die one day. The only persons who will deeply miss our presence will be our loved ones. On the second occasion, I started having heart palpitations in the middle of work. I even went for an ECG scan at a nearby clinic to ascertain if my heart had any issues. Although my heart was medically fine, I knew that it was my body’s way of telling me that it was breaking down. On the third occasion, I couldn’t take it anymore and sought my boss’ help to alleviate my workload. I shared with him my struggles coping with the mounting workload from four different bosses. Instead of empathising with me, he said, “you must let me know how much work the other partners are giving you, so that I won’t lose out to them”. It opened my eyes from within.
You might be wondering, how did grace even unfold in my life, messed up as it was?
Well, it did. For that, I am deeply grateful. 🙏🏻
It was my lowest point in life. I had nobody to turn to for help. Although I was already promoted to senior associate, I didn’t know if I could be employable elsewhere. But I knew I couldn’t take it anymore. My body was breaking down.
After my boss spoke to me, the next morning, I reached office early and I was all alone in the shared room. In my moment of desperation, I called out repeatedly to an Ascended Master whom I connected deeply with since young. I asked her to join me in the room. Although I couldn’t see or hear her, I shared with her all my pains, struggles & fears, how I was reaching breaking point, and I asked her to show me an answer whether to stay in, or quit, this job. With two stabilo highlighters in hand, I made the request and threw the highlighters twice. The answer was clear, quit this job.
I later consulted my friend cum colleague sharing the room, who suggested for me to hand in my notice of termination at the end of the month. I handed in my notice of termination without any job offer, and I was required to serve 3 months’ notice of termination. Later on, my boss called me to his room and asked, “Do you really want to quit? If you quit, I will have to hire a replacement. If you want this job in future, I won’t be able to give it to you. Do you want to re-think?”. Fearful as I was, I refused to change my mind.
Coincidentally, my friend was in the midst of serving her notice of termination. She spent many months searching for a job, and she finally found a job offer. She convinced me to search for a job as a legal counsel with a government agency. She shared with me all her learnings from her attempts to search for a job, such as whether a recruiter is necessary, what is the expected salary to input for certain jobs, how to ace the interview, and who to approach as referee. I knew I couldn’t put in my boss’ name as referee, and thankfully she gave me an alternative.
After I prepared my resume, I took leave to apply for jobs at home. That day, I checked out the website, and scrolled down to see what jobs were available. That very same day, a new job popped up. When I read the job description, I had a deep knowing within me that the job was meant for me, it was what the Ascended Master found for me. The job description was literally calling out for me.
I sent my resume in for that agency, as well as for two other agencies on the list.
Within the next week, the human resource officer of that agency called me & requested for my available dates to fix an interview urgently. I think my (future) direct boss called me twice before that, but I missed out his calls. We fixed an interview on a weekday night. Everything was expedited. During the interview, I was waiting for my turn, and guess what, a familiar voice called out to me. I looked up and saw my classmate from law school. Wow, I thought she was working for another agency, how did she end up in this agency? Such a lovely coincidence! She chatted with me to calm me down, and I went for my first round of interview with my (future) direct boss. It went so well. I didn’t even have to talk much. He was basically convinced on recruiting me after reading my resume. I had to thank my friend cum classmate from law school who convinced him to interview & select me. After that, I was asked to attend a second interview with the divisional director and human resource officer, and it all went well.
Within one month of handing in my notice of termination, I found a job offer. This is Grace in action. I asked for help, and I received. Everything aligned to lead me to this job. I can’t thank enough for all the kindness extended by everybody along the way, from my friend cum colleague at the law firm, to my friend cum classmate from law school, to the partner who generously agreed to be my referee, to the interviewers. And of course, to the Grace of the Divine for guiding me through all the hurdles safely, and leading me to the new job speedily.
Thank You! 🙏🏻
Masters, would you have anything to share with us?
Dear child, we are deeply happy for you that you took the courage & leap of faith to get you to where you are right now. Keep going, and trust that the journey is unfolding well for you. Everything is aligned at divine timing. Do not worry or fear the unknown. Be grateful for the purpose & lessons in your life, and seek mastery of self by working through these inner work.
