When I was growing up, I was not the easiest child to care for.
As a highly introverted child, I needed a highly sensitive & empathetic parent to decipher what I was thinking and how I was feeling. I could still remember how I would sit in a spot for hours, daydreaming & playing with my toys.
Growing up, I was not physically strong. As a toddler, my arms took a longer time to gain strength. My mum would often jokingly share that unlike my siblings, I didn’t learn how to crawl. Instead, I learned how to move around by wiping my butt (with my diapers on) all around the house, effectively becoming a human version of the robot cleaner before it was invented.
I was frequently down with high fever as well. For a couple of times, my parents had to rush me to hospital to seek treatment, in order for the fever to subside. I could still remember how my mini shirt was often drenched with cold water, due to the ice that melted & seeped through the towel that was laid over my forehead. I could also remember the sleepless nights that my mum had to endure through, while taking care of us.
Today, I would like to reflect on the countless blessings that I have received from my mum, and to immerse in this beautiful feeling of gratitude.
The first memory that came to my mind, was when I was around 3 years old.
My elder brother was 3 years older than me, and my younger sister just came to this world. Despite my introversion, my brother could get along well with me, and we sometimes played together.
One day, he was at the balcony, and called out to me to play some mini golf or hockey game together. In my excitement & haste, I dashed towards the balcony and accidentally tripped over the sliding door gap on the floor. My little forehead knocked against the metal frame on the floor with a loud thud. Next I know, I was flat on the ground, and bleeding profusely from my forehead. In my shock, everything became a blur, and I blacked out for awhile. When I opened my eyes, my mum was carrying me in her arms, and using whatever method to stop the bleeding on my forehead. It was a very deep cut. I had to be rushed to the hospital immediately to stitch the gaping wound on my forehead. Thankfully, my dad happened to be at home that day, and he quickly drove me and my mum to the nearby hospital. I could still remember, in our journey to the hospital, my mum was at the backseat carrying me in her arms, and using some towel to press over my gaping wound. My little face was drenched in a mix of blood & tears; my own blood & my mum’s tears as she sobbed uncontrollably while clinging on tightly to me.
When we finally reached the hospital, I was rushed to the doctor to have my wound stitched. My wound was eventually sealed with 12 stitches over my forehead. In my secondary school days, my classmates would sometimes call me “harry potter”, because I too have a right forehead scar. As my head grew bigger, the wound looked correspondingly smaller over the years. Every time I look at myself in the mirror and notice the scar, I would be reminded of the unconditional love showered by my mum, as well as the mix of blood & her tears all over my face. It reminds me that life is fragile, and not to take my blessings for granted. May I strive to always treat my mum with love, respect & kindness, just like how she treated me when I needed her most. 🌞🌟
The second memory that came to my mind, was when I was in primary school, and my parents started a hardware shop.
Back then, my parents badly needed the hardware business to succeed, because our entire family depended on the income to survive. In addition, my dad took on the additional responsibility to pay for his mother’s hefty hospital bills. As a result, my parents were extremely frugal, and for the first few years, they would clock more than 12 hours a day at the hardware shop. They worked tirelessly almost every day, keeping rest days to a bare minimum. As their children, we witnessed their strong work ethic as we joined them in the shop after school.
There were several incidents that I remembered during this period.
For the first incident, it was late at night. My parents just closed their shop, and we headed out for a quick dinner. I couldn’t remember where we were at, but we had to cross a zebra crossing to get to another traffic junction. I remembered taking a quick glance left & right, before crossing. Next I know, from my left vision, a motorcyclist was riding at full speed towards me. At that moment, out of fear & shock, I literally froze in the middle of the road. I thought I was going to be knocked down by the motorcyclist. Before I could even react, in the next splitting second, suddenly two hands were behind me, and pushed me to safety, as the motorcyclist zoomed past & narrowly missed the both of us. I turned back, and realised that it was my mum who saved me. It was such a close shave. She could have been knocked down by the motorcyclist herself for saving me. But in that instant split second, all that she could think about was to save my life. How blessed I was. 🙏🏻
For the second incident, we were in the shop, and my dad bought a packet of piping hot fishball noodles soup & left it at the higher shelf. I wanted to take it down to share with my sister for lunch. When I was trying to reach for the food, the entire bowl toppled over and I was drenched completely from head down with the hot soup. The parts of my skin that were in contact with the hot soup became pinkish red. I was in pain & shock, as I froze on the spot. Again, my mum’s quick thinking saved the day. She dashed over to bring me to the toilet, and got some cream to apply to my skin. As the shop was air-conditioned, after being scalded by the hot soup, I was shivering uncontrollably in the toilet. Thankfully, the soup spared most of my face. For a part of my thigh, it took almost ten years for the scalded marks on my skin to fade away.
Whenever I behaved badly & deserved a caning, my mum’s caning never made me upset or angry. Instead, I learned to love & respect her even more. You may wonder, why so? The key difference was in the way my mum used the cane to hit us. Each time she was forced to use a cane to hit us, she would always mindfully target only our legs, and put her other hand there to receive the beating as well. In other words, each time she hits us, she hits herself too. She did this intentionally, in order to discipline us (in the way that dad would prefer) without injuring us in any way. When my dad wanted to lash out at us, my mum would always be on high alert near us, all ready to jump in to protect us when needed. In my years of growing up, she was like my human version of a guardian angel. Without her, I wouldn’t know if I am still here today.
Through silent actions like these, I slowly discovered my mum’s unconditional love for us. Her love may not be perfect or the “divine love” that the Akashic Masters shower to us; it may not always be pure, expansive, and without any attachments or expectations. Nonetheless, her love is impactful as well; it is what she knows of and the best that she can give us at that moment. For that, I am very grateful & blessed to receive. 🥰
The third memory that came to my mind, was when I was warded in the hospital in junior college.
As I shared in my earlier blog posts, back then I was battling with a life-threatening autoimmune condition. When I was warded in the hospital, it was physically, emotionally & mentally exhausting for my parents. I was warded in a paying class, and the hospital bills were accumulating. My parents couldn’t afford to close the shop for days to look after me. Every day, they had to shuttle from the shop to the hospital to the home, and the cycle repeats.
On that faithful night when my blood platelets dipped from 3 to 2, my mum was right beside me throughout the entire night. Despite my dad’s quick thinking for my doctor to infuse me with bottles after bottles of immunoglobin, it was a relatively new & pricey treatment that wasn’t guaranteed to work well on me. My mum refused to go home with my dad. She barely slept on the chair right beside my bed, as she monitored my condition herself throughout the night. I was so touched deep within by my mum’s way of loving me, gently conveyed through her actions. As I sneaked glances at her throughout the night, I told myself that I would make it out of hospital. I would do everything I can to make it possible.
Fast forward till today, things have improved so much for me at all levels.
Everything that I have achieved today, I attribute it to the sacrifices of my parents. They made it possible for me to enjoy everything I have today. Without them, I am nothing. I came into earth as a naked being – clothed, fed & sheltered by them when I was most vulnerable. When I was growing up, I depended on my parents to survive. I am blessed to still have them around with me. It is time for me to reciprocate their love & kindness extended to me all these years. 🙌🏻
As with all families, we have good & bad memories. But these memories never take away the reality of the precious, unchanging bond of a parent-child relationship, which my soul had consciously chosen at birth. Thank you for your presence, and for all the guidance & learnings that I have received from or through you, knowingly and unknowingly. May I always be reminded to hold this precious feeling of gratitude close to my heart.
Even till today, my mum remains a true blue lifelong learner at heart. She often feels inferior & unworthy because of her limited secondary school qualifications. Sometimes, she feels that she is nothing compared to university graduates like us.
But her actions never fail to inspire me.
Every day, she pours in her heart & soul to read up on, experiment with & create customised meals for me and my sister to cater to our different dietary preferences. Even when we feel that she has cooked a dish well, she never sticks to the same way of cooking it. She is always eager to experiment with new ways of cooking the same dish, or to attempt to improve the dish even further. She never complains that the cooking is too time-consuming or exhausting for her; in fact, she willingly sacrifices her free time to cook for us & nourish our bodies.
Because of her, I get to enjoy homecooked organic, vegan meals, to slowly build a stronger & healthier physical body.
May I always remember her love & kindness extended to me, and not to take anything for granted.
Masters, would you have anything to share with us here?
Dear children, it is important to practise gratitude by acknowledging everything that our parents have given or shown us, directly or indirectly, through all these years of growing up. We are who we are today, because of them. Always remember to hold space for their learning & growth as well. They are not perfect as humans; they too are prone to committing mistakes, and this journey is a process of self-discovery & self-realisation for them as well. Practise love, compassion & gratitude towards them. Pray for them to be better versions of themselves every day.
Wishing you the best in all your endeavours! Blessings! 🤍
